Here Ya go………..With the ever increasing population of illegal Messicans , it is even more important to make fun of them (because they are here ILLEGALLY!) Now don’t take me wrong, there are some pretty cool Mexicans but the rest are just plain annoying dirtbags! Now you may call me a racist! I don’t give a flying fuck as mexican jokes aren’t even racist anyway because there are only 3 races of humans. The Mexican just isn’t one of them, they are just a cross breed, kinda like stray mutts. Messican jokes are pretty fucking funny too, so I would like to share them with you. I think this is the good collection of Messican jokes if you have more, feel free to add them!!
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, “Mom, look – I’m a white boy!” His mom slaps him in the face and says, “Go show your father.” He goes to his dad in the living room and says, “Look Dad, I’m a white boy.” His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, “Go show your grandmother.” The boy goes into his grandmother’s room and say, “Mira, Abuelita, I’m a white boy.” His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, “See, did you learn anything from that?” To which the boy replies, “Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you fucking Mexicans!”
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Headhunters. The head of the tribe says to the German, “What do you want on your back for your whipping, If we leave marks we’re going to boil you & eat you!!” The German responds, “I will take oil!” So they put oil on his back, and a large Headhunter whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Headhunters haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, “What do you want on your back?” Think he will outsmart them all, “I will take nothing!” says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch, a little red but not welted yet. “What will you take across your back?” the Headhunters ask the American. He responds calmly, “I’ll take that Mexican on my back please.”
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive” The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers “God Save The Queen” and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers “Viva La France” and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers “Remember the Alamo” and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
Here’s some pretty good one liners…….
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?….Roberto
Why wasn’t Jesus born in Mexico?….God couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Why do Mexicans drive low riders?….Great for picking lettuce!
Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?…….ever seen a Mexican get anything right the first time?
What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike?….Chase him down, it’s probably yours!
What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?…….Unemployed.
Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?…You kiddin? any Mexican that can run jump or swim is already in the US!
What do Mexicans pick in the off season?……Their nose.
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?……Cuatro Cinco.
Why don’t mexicans BBQ ?…….The beans fall through the holes in the grill.
What are the first 3 words in every mexican cookbook?….steal a chicken.
What did they get when they crossed a mexican with an octopuss?….I don’t know but it sure could pick lettuce good.
Juan,carlos,and Pedro all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. who wins?….. Society.
Why can’t mexicans be firemen?…..They can’t tell the difference between jose and hose b.